When we have to make big decisions in life we often get confused about what to do. Should I take admission in this college or that one. Should I accept this job offer. Should I marry this person. These questions make us worried and sometimes we cant sleep at night thinking about them.
In Islam we have two very important tools that help us make good decisions. One is Istikhara which is a special prayer we do to ask Allah for guidance. The other one is Mashwara which means consultation or taking advice from other people. Many people think we should only do one of these but actually we should use both together.
Let me explain why both are important and how to use them properly.
What is Istikhara
Istikhara is a prayer that Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him taught us. When we are confused about something we pray two rakats and then make a special istikhara dua asking Allah to guide us towards what is best for us. We ask Allah to make things easy if something is good for us and to keep us away from it if its bad for us.
The beautiful thing about Istikhara is that we are admitting that we dont know everything. Only Allah knows what is truly good or bad for our future. Sometimes what looks good to us might actually be harmful and what looks scary might be the best thing for us.
What is Mashwara
Mashwara means taking advice and consulting with other people. This is also something Islam encourages a lot. Even Prophet Muhammad used to consult with his companions before making decisions. If the Prophet himself consulted others then we definitely should do it too.
When we do Mashwara we talk to people who are experienced and wise. Like our parents, teachers, elder siblings or people who work in the field we are thinking about. They have seen more of life than us so they can give us practical advice.
Why People Get Confused Between Them
Some people think if I do Istikhara then I dont need to ask anyone for advice. They think asking others shows lack of faith in Allah. This is completely wrong thinking.
Other people think that taking advice from smart people is enough and they dont need to pray. This is also not the right approach.
Both views are one sided and Islam teaches us balance in everything.
How to Use Both Together
The best way is to use both Istikhara and Mashwara together. Here is how you can do it.
First gather information about your decision. If its about choosing a college then research different colleges. Talk to students who study there. Ask your teachers about which college has good reputation. This is the practical research part.
Second do Mashwara with people you trust. Sit with your parents and discuss the options. Talk to your school counselor. Maybe ask your uncle who works in that field. Listen to their experiences and advice carefully. Write down the important points they tell you.
Third after doing all this practical work now its time for Istikhara. Pray the Istikhara prayer and ask Allah to guide you. Tell Allah that you have tried your best to gather information but only He knows what is truly best for you.
Fourth after Istikhara dont just sit at home waiting for a dream or a sign. Keep moving forward with your plans. If doors start opening easily and you feel comfortable then that is a good sign. If things keep getting difficult and you feel uneasy then maybe its not the right choice.
Real Life Example
Let me give you an example. My cousin was choosing between two universities last year. One was very famous and far from home. The other was less famous but closer to family.
She did not just pray Istikhara and wait. First she visited both universities. She talked to students there. She asked her teachers which one has better program for her subject. She discussed with parents about the costs and living arrangements.
After doing all this research and consultation she prayed Istikhara. She asked Allah to guide her to whatever is best for her future and her deen.
Then she noticed that the far university was creating a lot of problems. The admission process was getting delayed. The scholarship she applied for got rejected. She was feeling very anxious about living so far from family. On the other hand the closer university admission went smoothly and she felt peaceful about it.
She realized Allah was showing her the answer through these signs. She chose the closer university and now she is very happy there. She did both Mashwara and Istikhara and it worked perfectly.
Common Mistakes People Make
One big mistake is doing Istikhara but not using common sense. Like someone prays Istikhara about whether to study for exam or not. This is silly because obviously you should study. Istikhara is for choices where both options seem reasonable.
Another mistake is only asking one person for advice. If you only ask your best friend who is same age as you they might not give mature advice. You need to ask different people including elders.
Some people do Istikhara but then ignore the practical signs. If every door is closing and everything is going wrong they still force their decision because they want it. This defeats the whole purpose of Istikhara.
Why Both Are Necessary
Istikhara connects us with Allah. It reminds us that He is in control and we need His help. It gives us spiritual peace and removes anxiety from our heart.
Mashwara gives us practical wisdom. Other people can see things we cannot see because emotions make us blind sometimes. They can warn us about problems we did not think about.
Using both together means we are using our brain that Allah gave us and also asking Him for help. This is the balanced approach Islam teaches.
Final Thoughts
Life is full of difficult decisions and we will face many confusing situations. Instead of stressing out and making rushed decisions we should use the tools Islam has given us.
Do your research properly. Talk to wise people and listen to their advice. Then pray to Allah and ask for His guidance. After that move forward with trust and confidence. Even if things dont go exactly as planned remember that Allah knows best and He will never let you down.
Never think that Istikhara and Mashwara are opposites. They work together like two wings of a bird. You need both wings to fly properly. Use both of them and inshaAllah you will make decisions that are good for your dunya and your akhirah.
Remember Allah says in Quran to consult with others in your affairs. And Prophet Muhammad taught us to pray Istikhara. So doing both is following Islamic teachings completely.
May Allah guide all of us to make wise decisions in our lives and may He always keep us on the right path.
